thoughts

So, Caleb's been gone for 6 weeks tomorrow. It's hard to believe it's already been 6 weeks. Only 2 more to go! We've talked about 40 minutes total and I've only gotten 2 letters. I don't think I would have signed up for this if I would have known. However, it really has made me think about all the things in my life I take for granted. I just assume Caleb is going to come home every day and help with Cole-- and sometimes I don't even thank him for his help and willingness to not only provide for our family financially, but also come home and change diapers. I know I needed to take a step back from life and relearn what is important.
The loss of my big brother, grandma, and now my husband (in a different way, but still, he's not here and not available for me to call) has made me realize that I should cherish every moment. I don't want to miss a thing in life and I don't want to live my life wishing for something more. I want to be the kind of person who is looking towards the future, AND totally present in the now. I'm learning everyday what that looks like. It's an amazing journey.
All that to say, I'm ready to be done learning the lesson and have my Hubby back. I miss him! Can I just say, these next two weeks might be the longest yet? Pray for me to keep on keeping on. I'm tired and would really love the chance to not be mom for a day.
OK, on that note, I have to go to bed... I have to get up in the morning.