Sunday, April 7, 2013

feeling defeated

This is another rant. So, read at your own risk. I'm really irritable right now.

 I'm tired, frustrated, feel a bit used and abused, and I want a vacation.

I know there are lot of people who are in harder situations than myself, and I am not comparing myself to them. I am comparing myself to my normal life and it is just a little off kilter.

 Caleb has had mandatory training this week as well as guard, plus his regular 48 hour week, so he has worked 80 hours. Cole has had a cough, has been up almost every night for several hours, and has very whiny attitude. Amelia cut a tooth. I also worked 2 shifts this week and because of Caleb's training, I had to find childcare-- just adding to the list of my to-do's.

I really am just tired. I would really like a break from the disobedient, and smart talking 5 year old. I would enjoy sleeping without bringing a baby into bed to nurse first thing in the morning. I would really like to be able to go to the gym and get out some of my aggression.

 I'm doing the race to Robie Creek in 2 weeks and because of this week, I haven't been able to train but 1 time. I am so stinking nervous and feeling totally derailed at the fact that I haven't been able to go exercise. They call it the toughest half marathon for a reason. I know I've got 2 weeks, so I can potentially get to the gym and run outside every day from here on out, but I'm just feeling a bit trapped and without much help from my exhausted hubby.

 So, there you have it. It is Sunday at noon, I'm still in my pj's and I'm hoping this giant cup of coffee kicks in soon.