Friday, August 20, 2010

NEVER MOVING

Can I just say that it's a dang good thing these floors of mine look nice, cause it's a heck of a lot of work to move! I think I won't ever move again, nor will I get my floors re-finished. So, there. We are moving back into your house this weekend and it's Friday and I'm already tired. I'll post pictures of the house when it's done.
Ok, so now onto a movie and relaxing and hopefully a little sleep before more moving tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Picture Window

What would people see if they looked into your house at night? I don't mean the creepy stalker lookers.. I mean, what if we didn't have curtains on our windows and people could see what our lives looked like.

I just took the curtains off our huge picture window in our front room. I have a perfect view of our street and they have a perfect view of me typing on our computer. What if we didn't put up the curtain after our floors are done? Would I be embarrassed, would I be proud?

I don't think I'll leave the curtains off, but it's worth pondering. Am I the same person outside as I am inside?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What are we worth?

Today we're having our gigantic trees trimmed. I mean it's an all day daunting task. The people I hired are doing a great job. The thing is, I don't think they did a great job at quoting the job. The owner came over last summer after he finished at our neighbor's house and gave me a quote on a business card. I saved it all this time. When I called him this summer, I asked him for a new quote and he said, I'll just do it for what I quoted you last year.

When he showed up this morning, I'm pretty sure he was a little annoyed with himself, because this job is a lot bigger than he thought.

I know my worth is not wrapped up in my job (wife, decorator, diaper changer/momma, cook, appointment taker, bookkeeper, etc), yet it is so easy to see life in those terms. Seems like the two guys who are busting butt outside right now are probably feeling like they are doing this job for nothing. It's not my fault, it's actually poor management. Yet, seeing the look in the man's eyes, while he and his son are working diligently to get the job done makes me want to bless him. I think sometimes it's nice to be appreciated not for what we do, cause it's all the same right... doing doing doing. But for who we are. I plan on tipping this guy pretty good, because he's worth it, not because he deserves it.

I know this is Christ's heart-- we are worth it simply because we are. Period. Nothing I do is going to make a difference, I have to "be" who Christ created me to be, then I can "do" what it takes to "have" the life I want. BE, DO, HAVE. Hum. seems like I learned this somewhere a long time ago, and I've forgotten it. I'm re-learning who I am-- a confident, mellow woman. It is good to be in process and to know I'm growing.

Monday, August 9, 2010

What do I really need?

So, this week has been moving week for us. I've been packing and packing and cleaning and clearing. I'm moving all my stuff from the front of the house to the back. We're finally getting our wood floors re-finished and in order to do that, the house has to be cleared. It's daunting. I'm moving, without the new house thing. In one way that's great, cause when it comes time to put everything away, it'll be easy. It also means that I'll have a nicer house that I already love.

All this packing makes me think about what I really need. I mean, do I really need 700 blankets and all those sweaters? Right now, no. But, maybe in the future? I guess winter does come every year and I will be thankful for the extra stuff, but really all of it? I've made a huge pile of "donate" stuff, but for the amount of stuff I'm packing up, there should be more- I think.

It's funny how in life I get cluttered up-- I think stuff is more important that people, I think having a clean house with no dust bunnies is the way to go. However, really what does it matter if I am unhappy or don't reach out to those I love? Also, playing a game with my son is so much more fulfilling than sweeping.

I'm growing, I'm learning, and right now I'm living in a cave-- an undecorated slightly dirty with boxes everywhere cave. And, I'm loving it. Hum, here's to next week when I actually unpack everything!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

I've been gone

There hasn't been much to say, but there has been much life lived.

I'm back.

I need this outlet and I need to just express myself. So, here goes again. I love life and I love adventure and this summer has been full of both. I am learning how to love this adventure I am on called Momma. I think the thing that has me, is that I see myself in my little one. I see the ways in which I need to grow-- I've got so many. This thing called selfishness is rising within me, wanting its way, and so often instead of dying to self, I allow it to take a deeper root into my life. I can say all the things I want to do, but if I don't love my little one, all those things might as well just go away. I want to LOVE. To really, truly love. What would that look like in my life? I think that would be me being confident and mellow. Let me chew on that a day or two and get back to you.

For now, I'm back, and trying to look at life through half full glasses.