Monday, November 29, 2010

making memories

I've come to realize that when we try to make memories they often are too documented. When we are spontaneous, that's when the real memories are made.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Busy Bee

So much for actually blogging frequently. Sorry. My life has been a jumble of family, geology, geography, math, music, homework, homework, homework. I have not had very many moments to myself, let alone to reflect on my blog. I use to think that the busier I was the more I would accomplish. I have found out that's not correct. I am a crummy busy person. I am not a great wife, mom, or student. Let alone a friend. I've been juggling and somehow I've managed to drop a few of the balls. I know that this semester is almost over (lets just say the countdown to finals week is a bigger countdown than I've had in a LONG time). I don't want to give up on school, and I know I need to refocus my priorities. I am a fun loving person and right now there is almost no fun in my life. I am surviving and so it my family. Nothing makes children happier than a grumpy mom, right? So, today, I'm taking a time out. So far, Cole and I are playing hookie from church, we've watched some instant netflix shows on the laptop in my bedroom, eaten not such great food, and for a very brief moment, Cole went splashing in the rain. It's refreshing to take a moment and breathe. I won't have very many more moments like this one, because as the semester wraps up, it'll get busier and more stressful. Next semester I plan on taking far less school. Whew. That's how I've been.

Friday, August 20, 2010


Can I just say that it's a dang good thing these floors of mine look nice, cause it's a heck of a lot of work to move! I think I won't ever move again, nor will I get my floors re-finished. So, there. We are moving back into your house this weekend and it's Friday and I'm already tired. I'll post pictures of the house when it's done.
Ok, so now onto a movie and relaxing and hopefully a little sleep before more moving tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Picture Window

What would people see if they looked into your house at night? I don't mean the creepy stalker lookers.. I mean, what if we didn't have curtains on our windows and people could see what our lives looked like.

I just took the curtains off our huge picture window in our front room. I have a perfect view of our street and they have a perfect view of me typing on our computer. What if we didn't put up the curtain after our floors are done? Would I be embarrassed, would I be proud?

I don't think I'll leave the curtains off, but it's worth pondering. Am I the same person outside as I am inside?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What are we worth?

Today we're having our gigantic trees trimmed. I mean it's an all day daunting task. The people I hired are doing a great job. The thing is, I don't think they did a great job at quoting the job. The owner came over last summer after he finished at our neighbor's house and gave me a quote on a business card. I saved it all this time. When I called him this summer, I asked him for a new quote and he said, I'll just do it for what I quoted you last year.

When he showed up this morning, I'm pretty sure he was a little annoyed with himself, because this job is a lot bigger than he thought.

I know my worth is not wrapped up in my job (wife, decorator, diaper changer/momma, cook, appointment taker, bookkeeper, etc), yet it is so easy to see life in those terms. Seems like the two guys who are busting butt outside right now are probably feeling like they are doing this job for nothing. It's not my fault, it's actually poor management. Yet, seeing the look in the man's eyes, while he and his son are working diligently to get the job done makes me want to bless him. I think sometimes it's nice to be appreciated not for what we do, cause it's all the same right... doing doing doing. But for who we are. I plan on tipping this guy pretty good, because he's worth it, not because he deserves it.

I know this is Christ's heart-- we are worth it simply because we are. Period. Nothing I do is going to make a difference, I have to "be" who Christ created me to be, then I can "do" what it takes to "have" the life I want. BE, DO, HAVE. Hum. seems like I learned this somewhere a long time ago, and I've forgotten it. I'm re-learning who I am-- a confident, mellow woman. It is good to be in process and to know I'm growing.

Monday, August 9, 2010

What do I really need?

So, this week has been moving week for us. I've been packing and packing and cleaning and clearing. I'm moving all my stuff from the front of the house to the back. We're finally getting our wood floors re-finished and in order to do that, the house has to be cleared. It's daunting. I'm moving, without the new house thing. In one way that's great, cause when it comes time to put everything away, it'll be easy. It also means that I'll have a nicer house that I already love.

All this packing makes me think about what I really need. I mean, do I really need 700 blankets and all those sweaters? Right now, no. But, maybe in the future? I guess winter does come every year and I will be thankful for the extra stuff, but really all of it? I've made a huge pile of "donate" stuff, but for the amount of stuff I'm packing up, there should be more- I think.

It's funny how in life I get cluttered up-- I think stuff is more important that people, I think having a clean house with no dust bunnies is the way to go. However, really what does it matter if I am unhappy or don't reach out to those I love? Also, playing a game with my son is so much more fulfilling than sweeping.

I'm growing, I'm learning, and right now I'm living in a cave-- an undecorated slightly dirty with boxes everywhere cave. And, I'm loving it. Hum, here's to next week when I actually unpack everything!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

I've been gone

There hasn't been much to say, but there has been much life lived.

I'm back.

I need this outlet and I need to just express myself. So, here goes again. I love life and I love adventure and this summer has been full of both. I am learning how to love this adventure I am on called Momma. I think the thing that has me, is that I see myself in my little one. I see the ways in which I need to grow-- I've got so many. This thing called selfishness is rising within me, wanting its way, and so often instead of dying to self, I allow it to take a deeper root into my life. I can say all the things I want to do, but if I don't love my little one, all those things might as well just go away. I want to LOVE. To really, truly love. What would that look like in my life? I think that would be me being confident and mellow. Let me chew on that a day or two and get back to you.

For now, I'm back, and trying to look at life through half full glasses.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

January poundage

I lost 8 pounds in January! Yea! So, here's to the next month and the next and so on and so forth!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

update on sugar and other such things

I just wanted to give a little update on my no sweets thing... I'm doing really good. I haven't weighed myself, because I feel like once a month is good. So, on my month birthday (which happens to be Cole's 2nd birthday!) I'll do a weigh in and then see where I need to go from there. I am feeling better about myself and really enjoying not having to eat all the sweets I see.

The other piece of news is that I start school today. I'm excited, a little nervous, and expectant about this semester. I know it's going to be work, and I know it's going to be stretching for me, yet, I'm up for the challenge. I also think it'll be good for Caleb and Cole to learn to be away from my complete taking care of them! Nothing like growing a husband-- he's going to be doing dinner a few nights a week, and he's going to help with the cleaning! AMAZING.

So, that's me. Have a happy Tuesday.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


I bought my almost 2 year old son a baby doll. His fascination started with a Christmas Card I got from my cousin who is expecting, and as I showed it to Caleb, with excitement, my son was in desperate need to see it also. On the card, was a picture of a pregnant gal who is kissing her hubby. Cole wanted to know where the baby was, so I pointed to her belly. Cole then, of course, pointed to my belly, and asked if there was a baby in my belly, then to his own. No, I told him, there wasn't. From then on through the rest of the Christmas season, as he went about his business, he would sometimes stop, pause, point at the card, and say "baby". To top it off, a friend had a real baby, and we've gone to see him a few times, only making it seem more interesting!

Cole loves to go to the gym with me, it's his time to play with other toys, kids, and watch his favorite, "Nemo". There are also babies at the gym. Real ones, and play ones. Last week, I walked in and my son was bundling up a baby doll and rocking it. He was really into it. I didn't say anything to Caleb cause it wasn't a big deal.

This week, we were all 3 in Walmart, and as we were leaving, we perused through the toy isles, thinking of all our favorites and telling Cole which ones he will love someday. As we pass the fish, and turn to leave, we walk down an isle with lots of pink. It's the doll isle. No biggie, he's a boy. Ha. He starts to reach out for one. So, luckily, I find one that is small, and dressed in brown with a puppy on "his" shirt. Cole grabs him from me and quickly, pushes my hand away, saying "No". As if I was going to steal his precious child from him.

So, we bought the baby.

At dinner, it became problematic, because he really wanted the baby to eat, and seeing as the baby isn't real, that created some very dramatic crying.

Today, the baby was snuggled, cuddled, thrown into the crib (that's the only way Cole can get the baby into his bed, and naturally, the child must sleep), and taken everywhere with us.
Here's to the making of a very macho (he had swords, and fights with his daddy everyday), male chef (yes, he got a kitchen for Christmas) who will be a fabulous father.

Oh, and Caleb thinks it's great that Cole is so into being a daddy. It's a great compliment to both Caleb and myself, cause he wants to share his love with someone else!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Almost a week

Tomorrow it'll be a week of no sweets! It's been going really well so far. I must say, I've drank more coffee than normal.. but I'm not drinking it sweet.
I think it's going so well, because this holiday season was particularly full of sweets and I needed to break it off cold turkey. It's been a relief to just say no. Also, I can't wait to start seeing real results. I will, probably in 3 more weeks. I'll let you know.
That's it for now.