27

Today is my 27th birthday and it's a little bit odd. I'm excited to be turning another year older and I'm excited to share birthday breakfast and movie and dinner with friends and family. But, I'm a little bit somber also. Nate's last birthday was 27. He spent it with my parent's and they went to the Cheese Cake Factory for dinner (which I actually thought might be fun for tonight, but then I remembered and it sort of creeped me out) and I talked to Nate and wished him a happy birthday. I think this was the last time I called Nate-- I know I didn't call him over the holidays and I didn't talk to him much in the new year (possibly once). This birthday phone call is the last real happy conversation I ever had with Nate-- on his 27th birthday. Now, I'm turning 27 and it's just odd. During the next year I will officially live longer than my older brother-- so does this make me older, or him? I'm not really sad, but rather reflective and just a little bummed out.. ya know, you're not suppose to become older than your older sibling. So, today is a start to more first without Nate. However, I've got a text message saved from him on an old phone-- a Happy Birthday message from when I turned 24-- it's nice to read and think he's probably sending me a message today, but our frequency isn't the same any more. I do have to shout out to my family and friend who are making this day a very fun day. Thanks for loving me even when things are a little "off".