Saturday, June 14, 2008
who i am
I've been thinking about who I am. I feel all this pressure to be something I cannot achieve. I want to be content in my skin, my life, house, marriage, and family. I want to be someone who is centered, not thinking or worrying about what others are thinking, and also not stepping on people while I become satisfied in who I am. I have this tendency to think that in order to make myself feel good, I have to compare and if I fall ahead in the comparison, I am good. If not, there's something wrong with me. I don't want to care about living up to other people's standards for their own lives-- or for that matter if they think I should be something I'm not, I don't want to live up to their standards for me. I want to be me. I am a little over weight- and I've got a beautiful baby boy to show for it. I'm a little messy, and my house shouldn't matter that much. I 'm confident in my marriage and family, because I know God is equipping me to do that which he has given to me. I am me. I have beauty not yet realized, and faults that sometimes show too much. That's ok. I'm growing, I'm learning, and I'm realizing what it means to live in the moment and love life. Speaking of loving life, I hear a little boy who has just awoken from his nap. Better run.